Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
