I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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