I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my phone needs a breathalizer
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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