I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
