do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
