We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
