I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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