why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
