so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
