talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
