Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize