well most of my day revolves around power hour
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
