So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
