Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
