Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
