69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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