i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
