i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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