at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
