is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
