maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
