Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
