I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
