I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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