Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
