they need to just BURY HIM!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
