Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Vodka?
Forever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
