careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
