There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
