Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I can't turn off my feet"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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