would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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