I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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