kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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