when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
