well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
