Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
