garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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