Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
