you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
