Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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