he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
