She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
