508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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