Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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