Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
