Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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