oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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