Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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