They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
