Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
