Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
