dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
