shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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